


Homeswap (has now been moved!)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Gen, Kidswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 10:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Your typical kidswap/bloodswap fanfic... or is it?!Yeah.Yeah, it's just another swap fic :/





	1. chapter the first

[A young lady stands in her bedroom. She grins, turning her head to admire the stark white wallpaper and the decorations of the same color. It looks quite nice, she thinks. It just so happens that today, the13th of April, 2009, is this young lady’s birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[What will the name of this young lady be?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You suggest something like Farmstink Pooplord, but the young lady makes a face and it is clear she does not appreciate this stupid joke! So instead, you name her Jade Egbert. Jade smiles. She seems to like the name!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Your name is JADE. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room, some of which you yourself helped to bake! You have a variety of INTERESTS, one of which is, unsurprisingly, BAKING. You have a passion for MOVIES STARRING INCREDIBLE CRITTERS OF UNUSUAL SPEECH CAPABILITIES. You like to attempt the building of robots but are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for NUCLEAR PHYSICS and are an aspiring AMATEUR GARDENER. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[What will you do?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Jade: Glance in the nearby mirror.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You look in the mirror and see yourself! You don’t know what else you were expecting.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Your long black hair sticks up at the top as per usual, bangs swept to your right. You have startlingly blue eyes framed by round glasses. Buck teet poke out of your upper lip, but you don’t really mind. You are currently wearing a white shirt with a pink-purple cupcake on it that was gifted to you by one of your best friends. You have a black sash tied around your waist that matches your hair. You are also wearing one of your favorite skirts, a long white one that has pockets! It’s your only skirt with pockets, really. What a shame. Your white boots have two white straps on the side. Sometimes you like to see what you can squeeze in there. It’s quite fun.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Jade: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Hey! Who said you didn’t have arms? You totally have arms!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[But they’re in your gadget chest, not your drawer. It’s the purple chest in the corner with all of the crescent moons painted on it. It’s stupid to think that they’d be in your drawer, Little Miss Pooplord.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Remove CAKE from GADGET CHEST.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Out of sympathy for Jade’s percieved lack of arms, the author deletes the description she had of the cake that was on Jade’s gadget chest. See, it’s like it was never there in the first place!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Jade: Quickly retrieve arms from GADGET CHEST.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You pick up your FIREARMS from the chest using your ACTUAL ARMS. You use these rifles for HUNTING AND OTHER SUCH SHENANIGANS.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You CAPTCHALOGUE them in one of the many pink cards that one would find in a SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[There are other items in the deck.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Jade Examine contents of chest.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[In here you keep an array of prophetic and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED ORACLE or a CUNNING SEER.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You are neither of these things.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], a CRYSTAL BALL plus compulsory VELVET PILLOW, a TAROT DECK, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, a MAGIC 8 BALL, a MAGIC CUE BALL, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and one of your favorite books of all time, PROBLEM SOOTH.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. For now, you decide to just take the SMOKE PELLETS.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[ **> Jade: Captchalogue smoke pellets.** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of the CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You still aren’t totally sure what that means. At least you’re starting to get the hang of the vernacular.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)

[You have two empty CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS remaining.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107)


	2. announcement

(this fanfic has been moved to https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040911/chapters/27262107 due to errors I've been having with the tags! sorry for your incovenience)


End file.
